A unique species

Caught up between my aspiration and the reality, I realised life carved out a niche for me where I suited well. This niche- I started believing as my ‘existence’. Beyond this was a far away land where I was born, faces of people that I called family, and a laughter so spontaneous and lively that it reverberated through my soul. Now, I was in a different world— living in the few pieces of my own self that I had managed to bring away with me when I left home.
Assignments and experimental set ups were the only two other things beside food and sleep that swapped places in my brain. Initially there had been some socializing... on weekends, but then it began to seem monotonous. Being a biped social animal, I did seek gatherings where there would be some good talking and instances to laugh, but I realised soon, it wasn’t to happen the way I thought. The absence of cerebral connections discouraged me from attending most gatherings till I finally found resort in my 10 by 10 room with my 14 inch laptop and my Nikon P90. The reason why I use so many figures is because this is what North America stresses most on. Numbers. I became a number too once I entered this country. First there was a university ID, then the insurance no. and then, the Social Insurance Number. Somewhere down the line I almost forgot that I had a name till someone pronounced it with the most obnoxious articulation I ever heard.
Sometimes I miss home. At other times, I’m working.

Aimless Autumn Afternoon

As I hummed to myself a half forgotten song
My aimless steps kept lingering a moment long;
A rhythm invading my pace amidst the thought
To let go of the warmth that I so often sought...

A quiet road it knew not where from I was,
And why my restless feet did abruptly pause;
My mind so lost in the dreams that I had let go by...
Till a jutting brick on the pavement caught my eye

So out-of-place did the red form seem to me that day
Not so it would if it was wrapped in sand and clay.
It seemed to hail a fortitude which made it defy
The rule so laid by men who had not the desire to fly!

A feeling so similar it shared with my dreams
Alas mine never learnt how to protest it seems.
The fall of an autumn leaf on my shoulder brought senses back
To my aimless steps and strength that my heart did lack.

বলো ভালোবাসো...?

যদি বলো বাসতে ভালো ,
বাসব আমি আমার মতো মন-এর
কোনো খান-এ লুকিয়ে তোমায়
ক্ষণ এ ক্ষণ...

যদি বলো দেখো না কেন
সে ভালবাসা ...
হারিয়ে কেন যায় হাওয়াতেই
আমার মনের সকল কথা ?

বলব আমি ...."আমি এরমই - 'অগোছালো "

মনে রাখা তোমাতে,
হারিয়ে বেড়াই অজান্তে
অনুরাগে মাখামাখি
হাসি -টা'ও ভুলে থাকি!
খুঁজে পেলে সেই তোমাকে
দুঃখ ভুলে একে একে
ঠোঁট থেকে চুরি করে চোখ 'এ হাসি
যদি কিছু না বলি ....বুঝবেনা আমি ভালবাসি ?

If I would be with You...

I'd look into your eyes like I've never seen a brighter star....
I'd kiss you like the Sun kisses the new mountain peak....
And then lose the decency of acknowledging the glory
Only to keep glowing in the pleasure of attaining happiness
I'd breathe your breath.
And feel my heart beat beside yours
Yield to its rhythm lest it falls behind ....
And will you not hold me stronger... and help me find my tune
Like an ivy would I cling around you
And realize how incomplete I have been
Without the song I've heard my heart sing when it moves with yours....
Was there a skin there?
Oh were there two!
Or was it just us... defining happiness beyond known boundaries?



রাঙ্গাও যদি নিজ হাতে বারে বারে নানা রঙ্গে
উঠব হয়ে রঙ্গীন তব প্রেম-রাগে ...
চক্ষু দুটি রাখিয়া তোমার দৃষ্টি 'পরে...
তুলিব তরঙ্গ তোমার অধর তলে.....