Death in the house

Each time their eyes met, there was solace.

Hers spoke of a resignation...

A plea to be free silenced by tears

Well hid behind lashes sticking together.

A witness to her daily distress,

Peace was the most he dared convey.

 

The councilors stood quiet

Lowered heads and coats long;

The gentleman lay flat on the porch

His sideburns gummed with soupy blood.

Beside, sat a grey cat licking its paw,

Chasing which from the roof he fell.

 

The battered wife motionless and sore

A hand on her belly, caressing lovingly

Stared she at the man that relentlessly hit

The unborn she bore, now still in her womb.

Her gaze unfazed, searching for the eyes that

Bore witness to it all, silently. 

She saw him.

His eyes met hers and lingered a moment long,

A peace they reflected of a duty done

A loyalty unsullied as he faithfully cleaned

The lights of the sedan, wiping off

The blood of a fawn that abruptly sprung

Out of the woods, on his master’s way home.

 Wounded

To love me, is to love the complete me

The once butter soft skin, now wrinkled

With lines like crowfeet marking the happy days

The hairs, now grey, that felt soft ever so black 

Upon your chest as I lay asleep with a smile 

Reminiscing bliss

My lips not so supple anymore,

The breasts narrate the story of nurturing.

Yet when I bathe, I like the way the water trickles

Past my physical form and defines my soul!

How I still like being vulnerable to the touch 

I yearn and still hide within my crevasses 

The desires so strong!

The musk so strong, laden with sweat

And forgetfulness now punctuates 

Every corner of me. 

And then stands the man who loves to be loved.

To kiss without thinking, and to feel the strength

Of his muscles as much as his will against my skin.

To feel fragile and melt in love.

But he’ll never know.

Never know that his strength were born out of me

His peace attached like the umbilicals still...

Was it time to snip?

 

Café

 

The only bond was that of the coffee –

Sipping which, they sat still together.

Their thoughts, by now, quite chose to differ

And opinions alas never could be more bitter!

Yet her heart found a solace sitting quietly here

Wondering what he thought that exact moment.

Of the world that lay beyond the black door…

The gridiron pattern of the road in front

What thoughts would he have as he sipped from his mug?

Should Dickens have the wine spilt here instead…

Would he think of blood? Or a spirit refined?

So long ago, it seems to her, their thoughts held hand

…And hearts felt glad!

But things had changed for the good? Or the bad?!

No one knew, or did God after all?

The lapping of the waters on the wall…

Brought her thoughts back to the cups in front

The two grey mugs stood empty side by side.

Photo courtesy: Sudipta Das. Original post at: https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10158078846773321&id=607658320&set=gm.1268512820209514&source=57&ref=m_notif&notif_t=feedback_reaction_generic 

First love

They never met for years. He found love, 

And she found the confidence in kindness. 

Roads not crossed, journeys bordered by myriad emotions, 

Responsibilities, betrayals and expectations.  

Love matured to perfection, flavoured in the old oak 

Soaked in tolerance and tested in commitments. 

And then she met him again. 

The years spent in distance, shared with endless words 

Thoughts familiar, descriptions galore, 

Laughter with the same melody! 

Fingers kept next to each other entwining in another space. 

Time travelled to the past 

Of the reticent girl melting in the raw seasons of adolescent love 

The hint of fear long faded from the love that persisted… 

Forgotten. 

Forgotten? 

His words like the jigsaw finished her thoughts still, 

That she learnt not to nip anymore. 

The curve of her smile reaching her eyes as she dreamt of his, 

Unashamed. 

A connection metamorphosed from love 

Extending beyond the tremulous kisses stashed away in the stairways 

Of her heart. 

Forgotten. Like the smell of the first rains!

Aami....

Amar modhye katota poriborton eshechhe ta vabtey boshle odbhut laage. Nijer ekta motamot ekta vabadorsho, ekta ichhe of leading a particlar kind of life... shobi kirom strong hoye gyache. Aaj kalbela dekhe setai upolobdhi holo. Ekta somoy chilo jakhon kauke bhalobeshe shob chhere dewar shahosh rakhtam. Aaj k bodhoy shob chhere ditey parbo nijer shonge thakar jonyo. Ki odhut poriborton! Hoyto eka thakar side effect...

Asholey akhon jibon ta k bujhte shikhechi, dekhte shikhechi with a pair of mature eyes jekhane personal feelings periyeo ekta life achhe. Jekhane jibone kichu kora for others- onek beshi importance paay. Abar ei ami-tari majhe majhe ichhe hoy jakey bhalobashi tar shonge ek shonge thakar, to reveal the vulnerable part....to shed this shell of an iron will....n seek shelter. To lead a life free of any tensions... nijer duschinta gulo k r ekjoner gharey chapiye nije protected hoye thakte ichhe kore. Abar paromuhurtei monne hoy... tahole ami toh r ami thakbona... onyo keu hoye jabo.

Kintu nijer ei identity ta j ashole kon ami-tar setai toh awjana. naki dutoi ami... Shobari toh thake more than one face, amaro achhe. Ekta ami jakey tumio cheno - sei ami ta jeta khub vulnerable tomar aalingoner majhe kintu je tar oi vulnerability ta k bhoy paay na to be revealed infront of you ekta nagno ami... j chaay tomar shonge ekta chintamukto jibon katatey. J shobtheke beshi dukkho paay tomar shamanyo ekta aghat ey. J bhalobeshe hariye felte jane nijeke....
R ekta ami j nana jhamela ekai lorey jaay. J chaay na nijer durbalota ta k janate, j nijer aatmoshomman taèr jonyo r baki shob chhere ditey shahosh rakhe, r nijeke bholay ei vabnay j tar thekeo onek jotil shamoshyaay aache prithibi te nana manush... shey toh tao dubela khawar khamota rakhe....katolok ache jara setao rakhena. R oi ami ta ager cheye kirom aaro drirho hoye jai....aaro shakto....aaro onyorakom! Jei ami ta k amio chinina :)

:) to follow knowledge like a sinking star beyond the utmost bound of human thought...... to strive to seek to fight..... n not to yield!

A unique species

Caught up between my aspiration and the reality, I realised life carved out a niche for me where I suited well. This niche- I started believing as my ‘existence’. Beyond this was a far away land where I was born, faces of people that I called family, and a laughter so spontaneous and lively that it reverberated through my soul. Now, I was in a different world— living in the few pieces of my own self that I had managed to bring away with me when I left home.
Assignments and experimental set ups were the only two other things beside food and sleep that swapped places in my brain. Initially there had been some socializing... on weekends, but then it began to seem monotonous. Being a biped social animal, I did seek gatherings where there would be some good talking and instances to laugh, but I realised soon, it wasn’t to happen the way I thought. The absence of cerebral connections discouraged me from attending most gatherings till I finally found resort in my 10 by 10 room with my 14 inch laptop and my Nikon P90. The reason why I use so many figures is because this is what North America stresses most on. Numbers. I became a number too once I entered this country. First there was a university ID, then the insurance no. and then, the Social Insurance Number. Somewhere down the line I almost forgot that I had a name till someone pronounced it with the most obnoxious articulation I ever heard.
Sometimes I miss home. At other times, I’m working.

Aimless Autumn Afternoon

As I hummed to myself a half forgotten song
My aimless steps kept lingering a moment long;
A rhythm invading my pace amidst the thought
To let go of the warmth that I so often sought...

A quiet road it knew not where from I was,
And why my restless feet did abruptly pause;
My mind so lost in the dreams that I had let go by...
Till a jutting brick on the pavement caught my eye

So out-of-place did the red form seem to me that day
Not so it would if it was wrapped in sand and clay.
It seemed to hail a fortitude which made it defy
The rule so laid by men who had not the desire to fly!

A feeling so similar it shared with my dreams
Alas mine never learnt how to protest it seems.
The fall of an autumn leaf on my shoulder brought senses back
To my aimless steps and strength that my heart did lack.